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12-21-2011, 05:13 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Sophomore
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 94
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The FACTS on Coker
are this: On Friday the 10th, Marcus got a call from an ex Ohio State coach. Marcus was offered a starting tailback spot on "America's Team" if he would help him with a little problem. It turns out that this unnamed coach had the head coaching job guaranteed by Jerry Jones if he could help out our ex Commander in Chief. The reason that Marcus was chosen was because of his connection with 2Pac who dated Marcus's aunt back in the day. For all of you who knew that 2Pac wasn't dead, you are correct. He is actually an American spy along with Elvis (and his oxygen tanks), Princess Diana, Jim Morrison and Adolf Hitler. Since it is common knowledge that a US president is responsible for taking down the twin towers on 9/11, this president was seeking retaliation against Al Qaeda for claiming responsibility. So the mission was to go and convince Osama Bin Laden to admit that they didn't carry out the attacks. Since Osama Bin Laden is now hiding in Russia and posing as a chauffer for Vladimir Putin while they are planning how to take over the world, he would be tough to get to. To avoid detection on planes or ships, Marcus and the others put on there scuba gear and took the long swim accross the Pacific. After this the story begins to get a little farfetched, so I won't repeat the rest. FYI, everything above was independently verified by the guy who's car I jumped at Kmart yesterday, who's drug counselor's mom, adopted a child in Africa (for less than the cost of a cup of coffee a day), who's best friends uncle, is the current U.S. presidents brother, who's hut was built by the son of the pool boy of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who is in on the plan of taking over the world. ANY QUESTIONS?
Now, I love the Hawkeyes as much as anyone else on Hawkeye Nation. I also hate it when something happens that makes us feel let down by the coaches, players, university, etc. With that being said, it sucks that there is an issue with Coker, whether its legal or not. He was one of the main guys that gave us something to cheer about and talk about in a not so good season. Whatever his situation is, we should be supportive of him, our team and our coaches. We don't have to like that he can't play in the bowl game, we can even be upset about it. When its all said and done, he is a 19 year old kid. There isn't one of you guys on this site that can say you've never done anything that would have caused you to get kicked off of this football team if you got caught. As for me I made a ton of dumb choices as a teenager. It didn't make me a bad person, but it hurt me and many others. I actually had a scholarship to a D1 school to play football and ended up in prison before I ever got to play. It wasn't my coaches fault, my mothers fault, my fathers fault, my friends fault or anybody else. I just made some bad choices. Today I own a construction company, keep 20 employees working year round, and try to help those young people heading down the wrong path. My wish is that us "Hawkeyes", would rally around our coaches and players and not kick them in the *** on the way out the door. I wish for the best for Marcus whether he's a Hawkeye next year or not, and my thoughts are with him and his family through this tough time. GO HAWKS!
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12-21-2011, 05:16 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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HN Doctorate
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Dez Moyne Ez
Posts: 1,662
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
Wow!  Have a little too much time on your hands?
__________________
Go Hawkeyes. Go Eagles. Go Cubs. Go UNI Panthers (except when they're playing the Hawks, of course).
I find that a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. -Mitch Hedberg
"May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face.
And may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars."
"You can't fix stupid." -inspired by many of the posters on this fine message board.
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12-21-2011, 05:28 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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HN Legend
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,025
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
Is Coker related to Special Ed?
__________________
Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
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12-21-2011, 06:18 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Graduate
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 905
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
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12-21-2011, 06:26 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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HN Legend
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ames
Posts: 2,145
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
__________________
All time bowl wins: Ricky Stanzi: 3
Iowa State: 3
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12-21-2011, 06:32 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Sophomore
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 105
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
Quote:
Originally Posted by spliff45
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Man, that never gets old! "...and may God have mercy on your soul." Bwahahahahaha!
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12-21-2011, 06:55 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Sophomore
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 94
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
Good replies guys. Those were my exact same thoughts on some of the stuff I've been reading on here lately.
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12-21-2011, 08:08 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Junior
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 277
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Re: The FACTS on Coker
This part bad...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlkNGld
are this: On Friday the 10th, Marcus got a call from an ex Ohio State coach. Marcus was offered a starting tailback spot on "America's Team" if he would help him with a little problem. It turns out that this unnamed coach had the head coaching job guaranteed by Jerry Jones if he could help out our ex Commander in Chief. The reason that Marcus was chosen was because of his connection with 2Pac who dated Marcus's aunt back in the day. For all of you who knew that 2Pac wasn't dead, you are correct. He is actually an American spy along with Elvis (and his oxygen tanks), Princess Diana, Jim Morrison and Adolf Hitler. Since it is common knowledge that a US president is responsible for taking down the twin towers on 9/11, this president was seeking retaliation against Al Qaeda for claiming responsibility. So the mission was to go and convince Osama Bin Laden to admit that they didn't carry out the attacks. Since Osama Bin Laden is now hiding in Russia and posing as a chauffer for Vladimir Putin while they are planning how to take over the world, he would be tough to get to. To avoid detection on planes or ships, Marcus and the others put on there scuba gear and took the long swim accross the Pacific. After this the story begins to get a little farfetched, so I won't repeat the rest. FYI, everything above was independently verified by the guy who's car I jumped at Kmart yesterday, who's drug counselor's mom, adopted a child in Africa (for less than the cost of a cup of coffee a day), who's best friends uncle, is the current U.S. presidents brother, who's hut was built by the son of the pool boy of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who is in on the plan of taking over the world. ANY QUESTIONS?
 This part good...
Now, I love the Hawkeyes as much as anyone else on Hawkeye Nation. I also hate it when something happens that makes us feel let down by the coaches, players, university, etc. With that being said, it sucks that there is an issue with Coker, whether its legal or not. He was one of the main guys that gave us something to cheer about and talk about in a not so good season. Whatever his situation is, we should be supportive of him, our team and our coaches. We don't have to like that he can't play in the bowl game, we can even be upset about it. When its all said and done, he is a 19 year old kid. There isn't one of you guys on this site that can say you've never done anything that would have caused you to get kicked off of this football team if you got caught. As for me I made a ton of dumb choices as a teenager. It didn't make me a bad person, but it hurt me and many others. I actually had a scholarship to a D1 school to play football and ended up in prison before I ever got to play. It wasn't my coaches fault, my mothers fault, my fathers fault, my friends fault or anybody else. I just made some bad choices. Today I own a construction company, keep 20 employees working year round, and try to help those young people heading down the wrong path. My wish is that us "Hawkeyes", would rally around our coaches and players and not kick them in the *** on the way out the door. I wish for the best for Marcus whether he's a Hawkeye next year or not, and my thoughts are with him and his family through this tough time. GO HAWKS! |
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