Schwartz: Ten Sentences – Now We’re Bargaining Edition

September 6, 2020

Written by David Schwartz

Hawkeye Nation

Sometimes you can set your watch to the behavior of sports fans. What do we mean? Ten sentences:

1. About a month ago, college football broke up with us: “It’s not you, it’s COVID,” they said. “Really, you’re great, but we just can’t trust anyone because when doctors say “wear a mask” they hear “Oh my gosh they’re taking away our Americanism.”

2. Yet despite breaking up with us, they keep texting us at 1 a.m., asking if we’re awake, telling us how much they miss us, whispering, “Psst, hey, you know if we can get positivity rates lower I bet the Big Ten can start to play again around the middle of October.”

3. So now we’re sitting at the 24-hour diner, pouring our hearts out to our friends, telling them that, although it might not seem like it, college football still loves us: “You don’t see how sweet it is to me when it’s just the two of us alone.”

4. And they roll their eyes at us because they know we’re getting played – again – because it’s not the Big Ten’s athletic directors, such as Iowa’s Gary Barta, who are in charge right now, it’s the university presidents and chancellors, and they are most certainly not inclined to play football right now.

5. Heck, they’re just trying to keep their schools open, especially as so many of their students decline to help the greater good because wearing a mask and distancing isn’t nearly as much fun as drink deals in downtown Iowa City.

Continue reading below

Related In HawkeyeNation Forums

6. Still, our friends understand where we’re coming from, even if they know our cause is nearly hopeless; breaking up is hard to do, and it’s their job to listen to us as we ramble night after night about what used to be and wonder where it all went wrong.

7. Two weeks ago I wrote about Hawkeye fans – and all Big Ten and Pac-12 college football fans – navigating the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), and I wrote then that we were in the anger stage, but now it seems we’ve moved on to bargaining: “OK, here’s the deal: we’ll wear masks, college students will get into a groove and get some of the partying out of their system, the positivity rate will drop, and hey, maybe if the games take place without fans in the stadiums we can have college football, right?”

Continue reading below

8. That’s bargaining, and as college football teams such as SMU and Memphis returned to the field this weekend, one can be sure it’s only a matter of time before Hawkeye-fan depression over the situation overtakes bargaining.

9. It may turn out that the Big Ten did the right thing by canceling its season, but it might not have been, too, which hammers home the point that the Big Ten voted before it was necessary to cancel the season; they didn’t have all the data, nor could they have possibly predicted in August where things were going to be during the middle of September or October, especially since the only sure thing we know about coronavirus is how quickly it spreads.

Continue reading below

10. The question we should ask ourselves as we sit in that diner rubbing our hands through our hair, despondent and grieving the loss of our relationship with college football, is what life might be like if we were to get it back: Is that something we truly want and need at this moment?

* Talk with David Schwartz on Twitter @daveschwartz.

HawkeyeNation Archives View All >

Hawkeye Nation

Howe: Game-By-Game Predictions for Iowa Football ’20

Rob Howe

September 23, 2020

Projecting Hawkeye outcomes with revised schedule.

Hawkeye Nation

Brown: Return of Iowa Football Brings Sense of Normalcy

Rob Howe

September 22, 2020

Falls just aren’t the same without the Hawkeyes.

Hawkeye Nation

Hawkeyes in the NFL Week 2: Christian Kirksey Shining in Green Bay

Rob Howe

September 22, 2020

Recapping how the Hawkeyes performed in the league.

Hawkeye Nation

HN Podcast: Iowa Football is Coming Back!

Rob Howe

September 21, 2020

And Hawkeye basketball gets a start date.

Hawkeye Nation

Iowa Basketball Preparing to Meet High Expectations

Anna Kayser

September 21, 2020

National pundits see Hawkeyes as a Top 5 team in the country to start the season.

Hawkeye Nation

Schwartz: Ten Sentences – Money Money Football Money Edition

David Schwartz

September 20, 2020

Big Ten makes financial decision in returning to play.

Hawkeye Nation

Iowa Football Kicks Off ’20 Campaign at Purdue, Closes with Wisconsin

Rob Howe

September 19, 2020

Big Ten releases revised slate Saturday morning.

Hawkeye Nation

Howe: Couldn’t Be Happier for Hawkeye Football Student-Athletes

Rob Howe

September 19, 2020

Hawkeyes given chance to show off hard work.

TOP